So, have a look at The Wedding Reception. Fancy some of that? Good: the homeless critic will sort you out for entry and food. The bad news is, you have to go with him. He'll be pretending it's a date, but don't worry about that - you're just getting to see a great show!
After a high level consultation with the whole Vile Arts' team - including suggestions from Robo-critic, Mad Cyril and Ghost Derrida, the following questions have been set as the competition. The Homeless Critic's suggestion, can I sleep on your couch? was disregarded as a bit creepy.
Please note: you don't have to take the homeless critic home. Once the show is over, make your excuses and leave!
Put your answers in the comments box or send 'em to the firstname.lastname@example.org
What is your name?
Why would you like to spend an evening with the homeless critic?
Have you got a show on the fringe?
Do you have any special dietary requirements?