Sunday 19 July 2005
In a hastily convened press conference, critical nut-job Gareth K Vile and his imaginary friends told an audience of cats that the response to his Fringe project has 'been an occasional for rejoicing and throwing an epic tantrum'.
Sitting on a comfortable sofa, Gareth stared into space for a few minutes before going on to explain what the hell he was talking about.
'I have received amazing answers from about 200 artists who are coming to Edinburgh this August,' he mumbled. 'But my special Fringe in-box has got 600 conversations in it. That means around two thirds of promoters and companies to whom I have replied haven't bothered their arses to reply.'
Handing over to Mad Cyril, a critical persona that Vile uses when he wants to express rage or offensive opinions, Vile concluded that he has not had a reply for nearly 24 hours.
'Right, sunshine. You think you are busy? Seriously? Vile here is trying to do his work for The List, move house, do some cat sitting and put up ten new posts a day. Plus he likes to play Avengers Alliance on Facebook. You need to be getting those answers in pronto.'
Mad Cyril then proceeded to throw a dustbin through a nearby betting shop window.
Taking up the theme, regular imaginary visitor Ghost Derrida added his tuppence.
'There is a spectre hanging over the Fringe, and that spectre is the dramaturgy database. The Fringe is a highly competitive environment, and Vile can't understand why companies wouldn't want to be on the database. It's not like there is unlimited space for this kind of discourse anywhere else.'
Vile pulled himself out of his slump to appeal for additional content.
'It might be that you think the database is not for you: it is. There are musicians, comedians, all sorts on it. You even get to read that comic book I made. I reckon there is some sort of collective advantage to sending in a reply: the more posts, the more presence the blog has, and the more likely it is that your answers will reach more people.'
'This isn't just another mad egotistic shenanigan.'
Vile is best known for his campaign to encourage the use of dramaturgy through stupid stunts like this, and his extensive abuse of the copyright laws.