Please Repost Me: It's Miley Cyrus Time!

I am going to write a blog post about Miley Cyrus. This would appear to be the quickest way to get something reposted all over Facebook. So, I have an opinion of some sort about a famous singer. Apparently, Miley Cyrus swings about on wrecking balls. She’s a nexus for the discussion between post-feminism (here defined as a well-paid performer’s right to lick jackhammers) and the emerging wave of feminists who would prefer it if pop stars didn’t run about in their skids.

Miley Cyrus is nothing to do with me. I haven’t even watched Miley Cyrus’ video. I am mentioning Miley Cyrus’ name in every sentence because it gets attention. It’s the blogger’s equivalent of hip-dancing in their underpants. I disapprove of Miley Cyrus, even though I am more likely to be reading a Beginners Guide to Pretentious Theory than watching whatever award show Miley Cyrus was on. Miley Cyrus. Wasn’t her dad the one who did Achy Breaky Heart?

Sinead O’Connor said something disapproving about Miley Cyrus, and everyone posted it on Facebook. I hope she can turn that into record sales, because I like Sinead O’Connor. Not her reggae period – that was ill judged. I liked it when she had hits, and tore up pictures of the Pope on American television.

We could do with more celebrities like Sinead O’Connor, and less like Miley Cyrus. Sinead O’Connor has as much intelligence as most of the people I know. Miley Cyrus is, as Sinead O’Connor noted, a puppet of corporate interests.

I think there is something about how Miley Cyrus is being characterised as a victim of unscrupulous music business people. All of Miley Cyrus’ sexualised antics are part of a marketing strategy. It’s a bit of a punk strategy – being offensive to get attention.

Of course, when Miley Cyrus gets Sinead O’Connor to respond to her antics, that just keeps her name in the public eye. Lady Gaga had to wear a meat suit. Miley Cyrus had to run about in the nip.

Of course, I am not really annoyed about Miley Cyrus. I haven’t seen Miley Cyrus’ video. I just want reposts of this post. Miley Cyrus fits into a long line of singers who haven’t had an impact on my life. I am too busy listening to obscure bands like Acid Mothers Temple or digging Shostakovich. But I reckon if I mention Miley Cyrus enough, I might convince somebody that my finger is on the pulse of popular culture.

Although I think that popular culture is now fragmented because of the Internet, Miley Cyrus is trending. Miley Cyrus is the last illusion that we have a shared public, popular culture.

Miley Cyrus won’t be around in a few months. Cultural memory is so short that Spin magazine can publish a Miley Cyrus parody that rips off an Onion parody of Marilyn Manson. She’ll still turn up on the occasional phone’s predictive text, but her meaning will be vague.

Miley Cyrus might tell us something about how far an artist has to go to be shocking now. There might be a line from Madonna’s video for Like a Virgin to Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball. That line describes the increased sexualisation of pop performers (female).

Because Miley Cyrus was a child star, there is the issue of how Miley Cyrus represents femininity to young women. Miley Cyrus might be inspiring young women to wear their underpants on the outside when they go out for a night on Sauchiehall Street. Miley Cyrus might be a symbol of the hyper-sexuality of popular culture.

Miley Cyrus is a splendid semiotic puzzle. And like the best semiotic puzzles, which trigger conversation about tonnes of stuff, Miley Cyrus is a blank canvas. The real Miley Cyrus, whom Sinead O’Connor addresses, is irrelevant. The significance of Miley Cyrus is important.

Miley Cyrus is the spectacle. Miley Cyrus is the matrix. Miley Cyrus distracts attention. Beneath Miley Cyrus are the competing alienations of consumerism. Miley Cyrus swings about on a wrecking ball, above the heads of the entire world. Keep looking at Miley Cyrus. Don’t look at the man behind the screen, operating the machine that swings the wrecking ball.

Sinead O’Connor did mention who this man might be. But, seriously, folks, I’d rather that Miley Cyrus reposts were replaced by posts that reveal how our current Prime Minister is going to remove accessibility to benefits to under twenty-fives who aren’t Miley Cyrus. Maybe a post about how my local job centre includes an advert for lap-dancing between minimum wage cleaning posts – not that I am criticisng anyone who is a lap-dancer, but that I wasn’t even given an interview for it.

Actually, it’s all probably okay. It only takes a click to repost a Miley Cyrus article. It’s not like all the reposts show any commitment to the Miley Cyrus debate. For the record, I would prefer it if Miley Cyrus didn’t do all that nudey stuff (it is no accident that my spell-check tries to replace nudey with needy…). Miley Cyrus comes across as a bit desperate, and I worry Miley Cyrus’ll be in rehab if she carries on like this. And I don’t think Miley Cyrus’ fashion choices – and Miley Cyrus’ sexual bravado – are necessarily positive representations of female empowerment.

Hell, if anyone has read this far – thank you. But you only needed to repost it. Miley Cyrus.