Tuesday 14 August 2012

Murder on the Royal Mile

There is a concern in the state of Criticism.

Perhaps that should be - there is something rotten in the state of Criticism... too pretentious? Never a good idea to quote the Bard to introduce a far less worthy treatise...

I heard they found a body on the Royal Mile, three stars in the skull, two stars in the heart... not breathing, presumed dead at time of discovery...

A long roll of paper wrapped around the neck, a series of one word quotations etched into the flesh. They say that it was already in an advanced state of decomposition when it was discovered.

"The fundamental barrier to criticism as an art form is that it is merely response: it cannot generate the original material that is the watermark of fine art."

Nobody appears to be upset, but everyone is moaning. There are plenty of simple jokes, blunt and vulgar, to be passed around the playground and green room. There are even those who said the victim was asking for it.

Criticism is dead. Criticulous has been called in to investigate. Interrogations begin at Summerhall, 21 August, 10pm.

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